Friday, January 3, 2014
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Dear Dr. Phil,
When I retired, I could hardly
wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- Pickerel fishing.
I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing.
Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner, who it turned out, loves Pickerel fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies.
As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us, but she always complains that I spend too much time out on the lake.
A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful Pickerel you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught its twin brother!
So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice Pickerel that we caught and showed the picture to my wife, hoping that maybe she'd get interested.
Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat!
I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.
What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby, or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?
Thanks,
Roger
P.S. Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two Pickerel we caught.
I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing.
Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner, who it turned out, loves Pickerel fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies.
As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us, but she always complains that I spend too much time out on the lake.
A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful Pickerel you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught its twin brother!
So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice Pickerel that we caught and showed the picture to my wife, hoping that maybe she'd get interested.
Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat!
I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.
What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby, or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?
Thanks,
Roger
P.S. Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two Pickerel we caught.
Dear Arthur:
Get rid of that narrow-minded
wife.
That's a nice pair
of Pickerel!
Sincerely,
Sincerely,
Dr. Phil
In God We Trust.
"Laws
that forbid the carrying of arms disarm only those who are neither inclined nor
determined to commit crimes."
-- Thomas Jefferson --
-- Thomas Jefferson --
The
debate goes on!
I
have friends on both sides of the handgun issue, those who believe easy access
to hand guns is not good for this country and those who believe government has no
business dictating ownership one way or the other.
I have gained valuable understanding from both arguments. I have made my final decision.
Certain Americans, especially those who are more likely to become victims of crime, need to own and become proficient with handguns!
I have gained valuable understanding from both arguments. I have made my final decision.
Certain Americans, especially those who are more likely to become victims of crime, need to own and become proficient with handguns!
I can't discuss it any further right now. It's
my turn to pick up the shells.
A tough looking group of bikers were
riding
when they saw a woman about to jump off a
bridge, so they stopped.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his
bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide,"
she says. While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want
to miss an opportunity either, so he asked...
"Well, before you jump why don't you give me a kiss?"
"Well, before you jump why don't you give me a kiss?"
So she does... And it was a long, deep,
passionate, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent
you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would
you want to commit suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up
like a girl........".
The
authorities think she may have been pushed.
This woman is 51 yrs old.
She is TV health guru Gillian McKeith, advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and health, and promoting exercise, a vegetarian diet which is high in organic fruits and vegetables.
She is TV health guru Gillian McKeith, advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and health, and promoting exercise, a vegetarian diet which is high in organic fruits and vegetables.
She recommends detox diets, colonic irrigation, and supplements.
This woman is also 51.
She is Nigella Lawson... a TV cook, who eats meat, butter, and
desserts..... and, she washes
it all down with beer and wine..
I REST MY CASE........
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Montana Senior Citizen
Story from a Montana State Highway Patrol officer:
I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. I90 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Butte Mt. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having
a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a fucking thing!"
I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. I90 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Butte Mt. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having
a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of.
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a fucking thing!"
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
New Radiation Monitor
NOTE: I checked with SNOPES and this really does work.
With all the fear of radiation fallout from Japan I thought it might be useful to tell you about a cheap, effective, homemade radiation tester you can easily assemble and rely upon.
Just follow these simple instructions:
OPEN A BAG OF ORVILLE REDENBACHER MICROWAVE POPCORN.
LEAVE IT ON YOUR KITCHEN COUNTER.
IF IT STARTS POPPING, YOU’RE FUCKED.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
2011 email basic strategy
OK people we all need to agree on our email strategy for the forth coming decade.
I propose:
NO more chain emailsNO more dying child emails
NO more forwarded lucky emails
NO more walking in anyone's foot steps emails
NO more "Send this to ten people or you will have bad luck" emails
What we need is to get back to what email was designed for:
Pictures of Hot Cars.........
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A little windows 7 trick called God Mode
Create a new folder on your desktop and rename it:
GodMode.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}
Open the folder and look inside...
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
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