Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Worlds Largest Army
The state of Wisconsin has gone an entire deer hunting season without someone getting killed. That's great. There were over 600,000 hunters. Allow me to restate that number. Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to help keep the deer menace at bay.
But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan 's 700,000 hunters have now returned home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia , and it is literally the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the largest army in the world. America will forever be safe from foreign invasion of troops with that kind of home-grown firepower.
Hunting - it's not just a way to fill the freezer. It's a matter of national security!
Military Quote of the Day
"When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it
became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
-Sgt H Berres, USMC
became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
-Sgt H Berres, USMC
Thursday, January 6, 2011
SURVIVOR ..... Montana Style
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Montana
is planning to do its own, titled 'Survivor -Montana Style.'
The contestants will start in Helena , travel over to Billings and Lewistown .
Then, they will head northwest to Missoula then up to Kalispell.
From there they will proceed west to Libby and Troy. Then final leg will be back to Helena !
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with California license plates and a
HUGE bumper sticker that reads: I'm gay. I'm a vegetarian. Beer is
harmful to your health. Republicans suck. Obama is God.
Deer hunting is murder, and I'm here to confiscate your guns.'
The first one that makes it back to Helena alive wins...
is planning to do its own, titled 'Survivor -Montana Style.'
The contestants will start in Helena , travel over to Billings and Lewistown .
Then, they will head northwest to Missoula then up to Kalispell.
From there they will proceed west to Libby and Troy. Then final leg will be back to Helena !
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with California license plates and a
HUGE bumper sticker that reads: I'm gay. I'm a vegetarian. Beer is
harmful to your health. Republicans suck. Obama is God.
Deer hunting is murder, and I'm here to confiscate your guns.'
The first one that makes it back to Helena alive wins...
Monday, January 3, 2011
100 MPH goat
Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They're standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
They're standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!"
Sunday, January 2, 2011
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